so i was doing a little maintanace on my site… and it suddenly is broken O_o; and i can’t upload ftp to my site because it says i’m past quota (which i do keep an eye on and never had trouble with before) thus causing my sidebar page to not upload AT ALL…

so anyway, until i get that fixed, sorry about the messed up side bar. please bare with me.

ok so i got that fixed, i hope i didn’t delete anything important. ugh. i’ve never had a problem with that quota before :s guess i’ll have to speak to jess to make sure of that stuff.

i came home early today from work. not feeling very well, got some… girl problems that are messing with me. hoping that it’s nothing major. if it doesn’t get any better i will go get it checked out :/

but oh well at least i get to spend the rest of friday at home on my butt so it’s not too bad.

nothing else to really talk about right now. i’ll add if there’s more later.

alot of my friends are writing about a blog friend who died suddenly recently. unfortunately i never really knew her so i can’t say much except that it is always sad to lose a friend online because most times you don’t find out until it’s way later and then you feel horrible for not getting in touch with them. around xmas, last year, i lost a really good friend online to a heart attack. she was only 33 and i was in shock that she’d died so young and without warning. i still miss her every day even though she was only a part of my online life and not my real day to day life.

my heart goes out to the family, and to her friends who have been affected by her death. i hope that they can, with time, heal.

i am sadly very awkward when it comes to death, especially when i don’t know a person well. so i really have no idea what to say.

this was a post made on elyse’s blog and i figured i’d do it to have a bit more in my blog since my last posts have been a little sparce. so… here are 5 songs i can’t live without.

what else is there? – royksopp

this song is something i played on my short lived radio show for lucas back when we first started seeing eachother. i quoted the lyrics to him often as i tried to explain how i felt in my weird way.

Lullaby – Assemblage 23

this is a beautiful song that makes me cry every time i hear it. it reminds me of… things…

wind in the wires – patrick wolf

on second life i grew very close to a guy named seth. he was my best friend for my beginning months in the game and we concidered ourselves twins. this was our song and i still cherish it.

Demolition Lovers – My Chemical Romance

this is the song lucas sent me to tell me he loved me…

3 Libras – A Perfect Circle

my “i’m depressed” song..

i am still sick and it sucks. spend the day curled up in a ball in bed. called in to work again. thankfully tomorrow is my normal scheduled day off so i don’t have to worry about missing 3 days in a row. i hope i’m not sick monday cause i need the cash and i really hate to be sick, even if it does let me stay home and lay around lazy like.

tonight the temp is supposed to get down to 13 degrees! holy frozen shit batman! i am hiding under blankets with the heat on lol. i hate the cold, which is a pity because i love snow. the look of snow anyway. i can’t stand to touch snow because it’s cold and as i said, i hate cold. blah. it did snow a little today but only flurries and they didn’t even stick.

not sure what else to write about but here’s me making an effort to keep up with my blog. proud of me? anyone? no? ok then.

i guess this thing would be more interesting if i was caught up in some extravagant drama on the internets or something but i’m not, and i don’t want to be so… *crickets* i guess i’ll have to find some other way to entertain people lol.

well yesterday there was snow… now it’s kinda melted and turned into sludge. ew.

but yesterday it was quiet pretty.

i bought a new digital camera on sunday and it is GLORIOUS! 7mp and i also got a 1gb memory card for it. woot!

the camera i got is this one it’s so nice that i took a photo of myself, and blown up to full size, you could see all the little hairs on my skin O_o;

so maybe i’ll take some pictures more often now that i have my own camera.

today was kinda bleh cause i woke up sick and ended up calling into work. but i have been sitting here looking at funny stuff with lucas all day and so that made the day go buy much better.

i need to figure out somethign to say that doesn’t involve hating work or hating my life in general.

i should be more positive i just can’t really figure out how to do that.

been mt. dew free for a few months now, not seeing any change in my weight and that’s probably because i still eat candy like a fucking fiend. blah.. guess that’s the next thing i need to quit.

i attempted to get back in touch with friends that i’ve lost touch with but that failed as the one i really cared about decided that i ditched her for my boyfriend which isn’t actually the case. i’ve just turned inward and it’s not a priority issue as much as it is a me issue.

i closed down my livejournal and figure if i need to write where someone can see it, it can be done here. and the other stuff, can be done in private, paper journal or something else, offline, out of the public eye. i’m not sure why i had one to begin with. it started as just another place to join, and i’ve had it since 2001 and i’m just sick of it i guess. feeling like i should be pushed to keep it up bleh.

i’m going to leave it active so i can look back on things later on, i’ll probably also make a backup of it, but i’m not going to write in it again. i quit all the groups i was in except for the ones that i created, again for personal reflection and because other people might want to use them. but i’m done with that place.

i’m probably going to create new messenger names at some point too but only give them out to a small group of people who AREN’T going to get butthurt if i don’t sign in every single day.

this website is going to get an overhaul including the removal of the long dead webcam lol. i haven’t updated that thing since i moved into the apartment in like.. march X_x. not like it matters much. it’s just my dorky face big woop.

my new year’s resolution is to try and reconnect and do more than focus on one thing though that sometimes tends to be impossible.

now back to work before i get in trouble