this is not a sponsored review, i am doing this because i love games.

i was recently given my dad’s ipod touch so i’ve been spending some time getting to know it and the apps that it can use. since i’m a fan of games i decided to take a look at what games are available and found this awesome app called Tap Tap Revenge 3. it was free so it had my attention, and i downloaded it fairly quickly.

the game is a rhythm game, not unlike dance dance revolution or guitar hero. your goal is to tap glowing orbs as they roll down one of 3 tracks on the screen to the beat of the song. i’ve only played easy mode and a bit of medium but it seems to get harder as you progress in the game, in some of the medium levels there were lots more orbs to hit and it required me to use 2 and sometimes 3 fingers to hit all the combos.

i really love rhythm games so this was a treat for me. the songs were awesome and it even had one of my recent faves, fireflies by owl city. every song has its own special artwork associated with it, which is pretty cool, but sometimes it can be a hindrance when you need to know when to tap and hold a button down but you can’t see the glowing trail behind the orb because it blends into the background.

all in all i’d say this is a great time waster, and i hope i don’t tap a hole in my ipod playing it lol. tap tap revenge 3 is made by tapulous and can be found in the app store for free under the games category.

well the holidays are over and here comes the new year. this year has pretty much sucked for me and my family, and i really hope the next year will be much brighter. we’re trying to figure out the bills for next month and so far, thankfully, we have enough to cover things. my grandfather paid for my dad’s funeral, and a very kind friend of mine has offered to pay for his headstone. as well, some of my mom’s friends and family have sent her money so we have enough for the bills and a little extra to get some things done around here.

we’re definitely never going to be the richest people in the world, but at least we have enough to live on. i really hope 2010 will be better job market wise. you’d think after putting in applications every day for almost 2 years i would have found a job by now but this town royally sucks ass job wise. my brother was fired from his job a couple of months ago and is having the same problem. i kinda wish we had the money to move elsewhere but i know my mom wouldn’t want to leave here.

for now i’m going to continue with the paid blogging stuff. its really starting to pay off!

and i think i can say without feeling like a drama queen that this is definitely the worst christmas i have ever had. i’ve sat here all day looking though emails and messages, reading about how much fun everyone is having and i really just can’t think of a reason to smile today.

regardless of how i’m feeling today. i wanted to take time to thank everyone again for being very kind to me and my family while we deal with this horrible time in our life. it really means a lot to us. and i do hope that your christmas is much better than ours is right now.

take the time to appreciate everyone and everything around you. ignore the stupid little arguments that you will undoubtly get into this holiday season, and just be thankful that you have them there in your life.

today was my father’s funeral. not a lot of people showed up but everything was just bad timing. with the bad weather and the time of year it was just impossible for most to make it. the masonic lodge that dad was a member of held a masonic funeral for him which was very interesting to me. i have always been interested in that part of my father’s life. i always said that if i’d been a boy i would be a mason. they played his song by vera lynn (till we meet again) but the man forgot there was a second song (who wants to live forever by queen) so i played it on his ipod as we drove to the gravesite.

the grave was an hour or so away from where the funeral was, but it took forever because of the holiday traffic. thankfully we got there safely with no accidents along the way. my dad’s best friend who i call “uncle wayne” was there with us and bought us dinner at some place called country cookin’.

everything seemed to go by so fast.. all of this seems like it just flew by… it felt so weird there. i have a hard time with seeing bodies and caskets and all of that stuff.. i hid in the back during the viewing and the funeral. a few people came up to me and said they were sorry but i didn’t really know what to say in the end. i didn’t cry until they played his song and i sang it to myself.

the final song, the title of this post,is the show must go on… a reminder for us to celebrate him, but to keep going forward as we all must do.

or at least it feels that way.

yesterday my dad passed away in his bed in the afternoon. he went peacefully and without pain, well no pain for him anyway. we are all in great pain, and loss. i’m still getting over the shock of it all. mom gave me his ipod touch and i was going though the stuff on there, telling myself not to mess with anything because he would get mad when he finds out i was looking at it, and then reminding myself he’s not going to know, or see the ipod every again.

i feel like a vulture, being given all this stuff that was his. his mason ring, his ipod, his computer monitor, his guitar…various books… i feel like these are his things still. his ipod is still full of his music and his apps though i know i’ll use it someday… his monitor will be in my room later, i don’t want to unhook it from the computer just yet. his guitar which i attempted to learn to play as a kid is still in his closet, his ring is on a cord around my neck.

his funeral is wednesday and i know of course that it will be finalized when i see all that. i don’t want to go… i kind of want to just pretend he’s on his way home.

i don’t know what else to say. i guess its all just still too fresh a wound. i know i have to keep on living and doing things and being myself and all that stuff. but i feel like i should stop because why enjoy life at all anymore?

its strange to see the world keep spinning when your own has stopped.

i know its been mostly ad posts here lately and i’ve mentioned previously that my dad has been sick and in he hospital. well the worst has happened, and even though we knew it would happen at some point… none of us want it to be right now.

today my father has opted to die peacefully at home in his bed, instead of in the hospital. he was brought home just a few moments ago and is now resting in his room.

none of us are doing very well.. i’ve been avoiding it mostly, being on second life to numb the pain of real life, which while i know that’s not healthy.. its all i know to do.

goodbyes have been said… and although he is just down the hall i feel like i’ve lost him already. i don’t know how long this will last. he might go tonight.. he might last longer. he’s always been tough and its hard to see him like this. but even at the very end he is a fighter. its just unfortunately something no one can fight forever.

i just wanted people to know what is going on, incase i disappear for a while. i have no idea what will happen now or after he goes… its all very up in the air. my thanks to those who have sent well wishes or visited it means a lot to me and my family.

Sometimes I am just the typical girl…Ii love to look up wedding rings and other bridal stuff online. I’ve never been a fan of gold though, so finding titanium rings is a pretty cool change from the traditional yellow bands from my parents wedding days. They don’t bend and break as easily as traditional gold and silver rings which is a good thing for me… I bent up my class ring pretty bad from years of wearing it (It’s in a box packed away now..)

There are some really wonderful styles for both men and women. I could definitely see my future husband wearing one of the men’s wedding bands I found online. I stumbled upon a great site that offers all kinds of titanium  and tungsten jewelry and even titanium and tungsten rings warranty to ensure that your jewelry stays exactly like it should.

bleh sorry i’ve not been writing much lately and kinda shoving a ton of paid blog posts on here. times are tough and my father is once again in the hospital. the doctors are not hopeful this time though and everyone is upset. dad needs a heart transplant even though he is a bad candidate for surgery, and there is no real way we can afford such a thing. its pretty much that or he gets stuck on dialysis for a few months until everything completely fails.

yeah its harsh reality time and i’m not dealing with it well. right now i’m kinda absorbed in videogames and not talking to people.. i don’t really know how else to deal..

i am so glad that my family has access to the internet.. in previous years we’ve had to burn though tons of phone cards just to get in touch with everyone during the holidays.. i don’t even want to think about how much it would have cost if we needed International Phone Cards! now a days we just send each other happy holiday emails or call each other on skype or gtalk. of course we still get and give the traditional holiday cards in the mail, but technology has made it a lot easier for us all to stay in touch.

today they came and took the truck…

when my grandfather died he left a big truck to my brother in hopes that it would be his first vehicle. he was graduating the year after and it would be perfect for daily school trips up and down the mountain especially in the winter months. my brother however did not learn to drive until years later but played with the truck now and then adding a stereo and revving the engine like a typical silly boy showing off to his friends.

then one day he broke something.. and never got it fixed. he abandoned the truck in my parents driveway and it sat there for 5 years. we used it to hold junk

today my brother finally gave up every fixing the truck and has gotten rid of it. they came and took it away while i was asleep. it was weird to wake up and look out the living room windows this morning.. no truck blocking half the drive way. in a way it was kind of sad. that was, sorta, a piece of our grandfather. our dad’s dad. and since my dad went back into the hospital last night.. it kinda hit me hard now that the truck is gone.

the driveway just feels so empty.