another blog from the weblogit series over at daydreamz.net. this week my assignment was to write about things i’m looking forward to in the future. this is a hard to write about topic (why do i always get assigned these lol) but i’m trying to dig my brain for something here. you see i’m one of those people who doesn’t really like to plan or think about the future. most of this is because every time i’ve tried to plan things out in advance, its gone up in a ball of flaming bad and i really just don’t enjoy having my hopes dashed like that. ok yeah that was depressing.

here are some things that i would absolutely love to do sometime in the future:

- marry lucas. yes that’s cheesy and how predictable can i get? but its true. this guy has been the most important person in my life, next to my dad, for a while now. of all the people i know, and have known, and will meet in the future, this guy is the one i want to glue myself to forever. sure people say that, and i’m sure i’ve said it in the past, but i know deep down that i’ve met someone that is truly my other half. what i lack, he has, in spades. and that keeps me going. of course there are times where we want to stab each other in the face. but i honestly still cannot fathom the idea of not having him in my life, and that’s after 3 and a half years, so that says something.

-have a kid. this is the one that scares me the most. i spent a long time in my life saying NEVER! NO KIDS! NO WAY! and the reason for this was that i was afraid i would be a bad mum to them. not to mention well… i’m just not a big fan of medical stuff. or hospitals. or needles… or doctors looking at my girly bits…but here in the past couple of years the annoying biological clock has reared its ugly head and screamed HAVE A BABY at me over and over again while banging various parts of my anatomy together. it scares me to death. but a part of me really does want to see what would happen if i had a kid. so maybe, possibly, if i can get over some things, i would like to do this.

-learn to drive. this is something i should have been looking forward to in like.. 10th grade. but nooo nimil’s brain cannot have that. we had to be scared as shit to drive for all eternity. i’m still trying to figure out how to get around the weird block my brain has when it comes to driving but i want to do this some day!!!

-go to college. this is something i planned to do once i graduated high school but then stuff happened and dad got sick and i just never went. its still something i plan to do but i’ve lost direction and i need to figure out where the hell i’m going and what i want to take when i get there. my dream is still to go to the tom savini school for makeup and special effects but i would probably be just as happy doing something on a computer as well. so maybe i’ll just spend the rest of my life in school.

-and of course the one major thing i’m looking forward to: GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! i am confident that someday i will have the guts, and money, to move far far away from this little dinky bible belt town to somewhere more interesting and lively. i don’t know when that might be or how long from now, but its something that i look forward to. i am so done with this place it just isn’t even funny anymore.