today would have been my father’s 60th year. we visited his grave today and it was well.. meh… this stuff doesn’t seem to be getting any easier. i am still missing him as much as I did when he first died. does it ever stop hurting? all of this really just sucks and i feel like a whiney baby but i can’t help it.

later tonight i’m going to make his special birthday pie. he always had a lemon pie that is almost like lemon meringue pie but without the meringue. and instead of graham crackers it has nilla waffers for crust. its really good and very tart. its one of my favourite desserts.

and that’s about it really… dunno what else to say. i miss him and this sucks.