where i live, our mailbox is at the very top of a long gravel driveway. this can be a real pain in the winter time but recently i’ve been using it as a way to get some exercise while pretending its not really exercise. i toss on my ipod and make the long trek up the drive way, grab the mail from the mail box and walk back down to the house. it takes a few minutes to do this because i’m slow, but in the end i get a small workout out of the deal.

our mailbox is pretty old though and to be honestly i’d love for it to be closer to the house, and maybe even replaced. its been beaten up from cars and dumb kids with baseballs bats, and delivery trucks tend to miss our home because the mailbox is all the way at the top of the drive. everyone else on our road got their mailboxes closer to their home because they moved in years after us, but we’re still stuck at the top of the road. my mom says we can’t move it because we’d have to go though a bunch of stuff, so its stuck there for now. mainly i want to move it because in the winter time, when it snows, unless we want to dig out the car to get up our driveway, the mail ends up stuck up there for days which is not good when you are waiting for something specific.

i’ve been dealing with a horrible bout of depression recently and its firmly embedded its self into every single thing i do. i’m going to blame the weather and its screwed up fluctuations for the mess my brain is currently in.

today however, i am proud of myself. i woke up fairly early, set about a task and completed it. as you can see, there’s a new layout. yeah its certainly not the most creative thing in the world, but it took me forever to come up with something i could slap up on my website without cringing at the thought of it. there are still some things to tweek so if its broken don’t freak out, i’ll fix it as fast as i can.

another reason i’m proud of myself? today i hopped on the scale and beheld a grand sight. i am 200lbs. there are only 60 more pounds between me and my goal weight, and i have a good feeling that i’ll be able to continue getting rid of this weight, and keep it off.

i still have a long way to go, and i have trashed some things along the way, some things might not be salvageable, some things probably aren’t worth salvaging. i don’t really know anymore.

i’m going to see a doctor at the beginning of next month for a few issues and hopefully the results from that visit will be informative, and not as bad as i’m scaring myself with.

and now i’m going to go back to tweeking my layout.

i’ve been lazy as hell, no real excuse for it. haven’t had much to talk about recently and i’ve been trying to come to some sort of mental agreement with myself over things i do, and scheduling and all that stuff. i spend a lot of time being idle and doing absolutely nothing and that is something i need to stop!

i am still fighting with this layout mess for my blog. i know what i want it to look like but for some reason its just not coming together >_< i think i just need to scrap it and start again. i was using a premade template style theme to try and cobble something together but honestly its just way more work than i want to go though to make what i want to make, so its back to writing my own from scratch. i can do the code work, just for some reason the visual part of this blog is failing me. i need something simple and i need to to work!! i think honestly i make it harder to do than it really is because i want to look cool but when the hell has that ever mattered?

so yeah this was a filler blog cause i have nothing to say but i hate leaving this thing dead for weeks.

something weird is going on with the weather lately. places that i usually consider to be warm places, like texas, are below freezing and having chances of snow and school closings, and here i sit in a place where that is normal for this time of year and well… while its cold at the moment (cause its early morning) its going to be warmer during the day (we got into the 60s yesterday at one point) and there’s no snow.

so i get to sit here and read on facebook and twitter about “snowpocalypse” and well, that sucks! i want snow! sure i hate being cold, but if its going to be cold i’d like for it to go all out please!

send some snow my way?