so when i last wrote, i was waiting on a phone call from *big retail store*. well that phone call has still not come but i am crossing fingers and hoping that it will soon. the situation here is not good money-wise and our home is literally falling to pieces. we cannot fix anything, or really clean anything, because we cannot buy anything to do so. our vacuum does not work, we don’t have money for garbage bags or cleaning products… its just getting ridiculous. i am at my wits end trying to figure out what the hell to do.

i’m really not sure how much longer we will have the internet. my brother is doing temp work at factories and he isn’t getting much work from that. my sis in law is a waitress so she doesn’t make that much money. my only job at the moment is writing paid blogs and tweets, and those who do that know that’s not very stable either… and if the internet goes poof, then there goes my only way to make cash.

i’ve had this donate button on the sidebar since may… not one person has graced it with even a dollar. i know, i shouldn’t expect much, because i am not “known” to people, but i kinda feel like crap about that. i wish i could find people here in the real world, off of the internet, who could help us fix our home, give us a vacuum or something that would assist us in not living in the mess we are in now. the lady next door told us months ago that she would speak to someone who could arrange a benefit for us to raise money for stuff, but here it is almost september and she has said nothing about it.

i want a job… i am so sick of waiting on these phone calls and the rejection… it should not be this hard to find a job.

i had a bunch of stuff happen all at once so let me try to compile it all into..uh.. a pile!

first i got an awesome call from *big retail store* telling me they want to interview me for a position! i jumped around and did a happy dance.

saturday i got to go out for an early birthday gift from my friends, to a battle of the bands concert! it was awesome and i had a lot of fun. they even managed to get a photo of me smiling!

(i’m the one on the right with the tacky shirt. my friend sandy in the middle, and my wifey bobbie on the left)

here are some of the pictures i took while my friends’ band was on stage:

they are not as amazing as the stuff you guys take with your fancy cameras but i am pretty impressed with how well these turned out! this was my first ever attempt at taking concert photos with this camera (which is a point and shoot) and i was honestly expecting the photos to be pretty bad.

the concert was great and most of the bands were good. my friends lost to a cover band, which i think is bs because cover bands should not be in a battle against bands that actually write their own stuff. but the guys were just happy to play a show at such a big venue, and hopefully they gained a ton of new fans!

so then on tuesday, i had my interview with *big retail store* and everything went very well. i was interviewed by managers and a store manager and then sent home, saying they would call wednesday, or if they did not, to call on thursday to find out what was going on.

wednesday was my birthday, the big 30. it was, unfortunately, pretty dull, and full of me pacing the floor waiting for a call from *big retail store* about job stuff. i spent my birthday mostly alone, due to robert and brit both having to work the entire day and into the night. robert was supposed to cook steak for me but by the time he got home, he was exhausted. so, with lucas’ help, and a pair of tongs, i tackled the project myself.

i have a hard time with raw meat, something about it freaks me out and i don’t want to touch it, so i had to pick it up with tongs the entire time lol. i successfully marinated it in awesomesauce, and pan cooked it and it came out amazing! i am so proud of myself!

yes i did go a little nuts for my birthday.. that was a huge steak, and i ate all of it.

i also had my traditional birthday mt. dew, and a huge slice of red velvet cake.

today i called *big retail store* and asked about the job i applied for. they informed me that they are still interviewing for it, but that they have also considered me for other positions and would call me when they made a decision. so i’m still waiting for now.. and hoping that i get into electronics, as i really enjoyed working in that area of the store last time.

and that’s all from me for now.. i need to do something about this layout.. its way beyond spring!

i have been quiet lately, and the reason for this is of course because i haven’t had much to say but also because i just can’t seem to focus. lately it seems like my brain is all over the place! i have been having a hard time with depression since the death of my cat, and on top of that i just can’t seem to get anything done. i work on something and 15 minutes later i’m doing something completely different. its nerve wracking.

i’ve found that since i stopped having a very strict schedule with my life (being a kid, having school, set bed times, ect) i have really lost the ability to focus on projects and complete them in a normal time frame. i guess i am one of those people who work best with the pressure of deadlines. this is the most frustrating part of my adulthood. not having anyone to tell me what to do and when. that sounds ridiculous but there you go… i need someone to tell me what to do

i’m going to attempt to set up something on my computer that shouts at me to do things on a regular basis and keep up with projects that i start. i have so much half finished junk that i should be working on instead of goofing off!

mtv is nothing like it was when it first started out, and that honestly makes me sad. i was born the same month, and year as mtv, and basically was raised on it. the way it is now, i’d never let a kid sit in front of the tv with that channel on it, as they would be exposed to some rather disgusting television, but when i was a kid it was amazing.

in honor of mtv’s birthday, i give you the first music video that i can remember watching as a child.