today is a special day for me. this time 4 years ago i fell in love with someone who is now permanently attached to my soul. it blows me away to know just how far love can go when you are with someone that completes you so perfectly. everyone has bad patches and moments where they explode, but the important thing is when you can get back up and dust yourself off and be so perfect and happy together.

i cherish the time i get to spend with him, and i still get butterflies when i think about him. i don’t think i’ve ever felt as complete as i do now.

happy 4 years lucas, and may there be a life time more. 

its early and i’m still sick but by gods i am watching the macy’s day parade like i used to as a little kid. usually i’m too lazy to wake up this early but i did my best to sleep last night in order to wake up in time

i’m doing my best to have a good thanksgiving this year. my cold has finally started to go away and i’m feeling a bit better. so i’ll actually be able to taste the damn food. mom is going to assist me in making this pie that lucas found for me when we were looking for a pumpkin pie mom could eat (she’s diabetic).

of course there are memories that creep in around this time of year. last year november and december were two months of hell. mom had her stroke last year the day before thanksgiving, refused to go to the hospital, and managed to make thanksgiving dinner for us before we finally convinced her to see someone. she made it though with minor issues, thankfully, but it was still a very shocking experience. of course december was the month my dad died. i’m trying not to dwell on it too hard, because i know he would want me to spend my time enjoying life, not mourning him forever.

so i’m watching the parade and waiting to see which balloon deflates. and i can’t wait to try that pie >_<

earlier today my sister-in-law calls me up and says “hey wanna go see harry potter at midnight?” FUCK YES I DO! and so we bundled up and headed out for a night of nerding it up at our local theater. being that we are both a bit brokeass, we smuggled in drinks and food from the local gas station. it wasn’t the first time i’d done that but it had been a while and i was nervous. thankfully i have a large trench coat so we made it though without alerting anyone to the presence of our gas station snacks

the movie was great. as usual some parts were kinda off and weird compared to the book but all in all a great movie and i so totally cried at the same damn scene i cried at in the book D: i am so lame.

there was also a trailer for TRON! it looks amazing… exactly what TRON should have been all those years ago. i’m hopefully going to see that with my brother and sis –in – law in 3d when it comes here!

its been a while since i’ve been to a theater, i really wish i got to go more.

yesterday i turned 29, and while it was a quiet and at times moody celebration, i came though alright. my mother bought me the sims 3 ambitions, and my grandfather sent me 50 bucks. i spent most of the night playing team fortress 2 with lucas and had a blast. its times like that when i really see just how totally perfect we are together. he did all he could to make sure my birthday didn’t suck, even when i wasn’t really looking forward to it at all.

i really want to thank those of you who left me happy birthday messages on facebook, and twitter, and on the daydreamz.net forum. it means a lot to me especially right now.

now i’m off to sleep because i am completely exhausted!

since we’ve been on the subject of computers recently i thought i’d let my readers know about a really cool give away from colleen at living live one day at a time. one of the things that always bugged me about my laptop was that it heated up so much! especially in the summer. one year i went though 4 different cooling pads from walmart. they all sucked because the fans would die out after a few months.

colleen has written an excellent review on a ThermaPAK heatshift pad that requires no power, and has no fans! the best part about it? its not just a review, its a giveaway!

there are many ways to enter and if you have a laptop, the prize is seriously a life saver for your computer, so check it out and enter!

yes yes no computer blah blah blah done bitching. 2 more days of this hell.

today is july 4th. its the first july 4th since my father’s death and so its one of those reminders that we lost him. every year for july 4th, we used to pile into the family car and go to the local fair grounds to see fireworks set off by the fire department. even when my dad got sick he still wanted to see them, ever year. i remember being a little girl on his shoulders, being afraid of the sound, and my dad spent the whole time explaining to me how fireworks worked. what they were made of, and why they make that noise. he was my own personal mister wizard (and if you don’t know who that is, you’re fired.)

i’d originally planned to skip out on the family fireworks tonight, but thinking about it… i think i should go.

what do you do for july 4th (if you celebrate it)?

when did you show up? gah. i was out getting some groceries the other day when i looked around and noticed the tell tale sign of another holiday fast approaching. its still the middle of January but already stores are filled withValentine’s Gifts!

usually i spend valentine’s day with lucas online since we are long distance and we have a blast. i especially love doing the valentine’s stuff on WoW but i also enjoy getting on second life to spend some time with him.

i want to get my mom something nice this year since my dad is gone. he used to send her flowers every year and get her a box of candy. well we’ll have to find sugar free candy for her but i’m sure between me and my brother we can get her some pretty flowers to go with it

do you do anything special for valentine’s day?

and i think i can say without feeling like a drama queen that this is definitely the worst christmas i have ever had. i’ve sat here all day looking though emails and messages, reading about how much fun everyone is having and i really just can’t think of a reason to smile today.

regardless of how i’m feeling today. i wanted to take time to thank everyone again for being very kind to me and my family while we deal with this horrible time in our life. it really means a lot to us. and i do hope that your christmas is much better than ours is right now.

take the time to appreciate everyone and everything around you. ignore the stupid little arguments that you will undoubtly get into this holiday season, and just be thankful that you have them there in your life.

i love this time of year because there’s a holiday every month.. october has halloween, november brings thanksgiving, december has xmas! i really love holidays, they make me happy. thanksgiving is approaching fast and i can’t wait. we don’t have a lot of tradition in this family but we never miss out on thanksgiving no matter what. it may not be some gigantic dinner for 20 but its always a great day filled with parade watching and eating too much turkey.

for my american readers, what do you do on thanksgiving? do you celebrate it in your family?

for my non-american readers, do you have a thanksgiving-like day in your country?

wow this is like.. crazy family birthday month. both my parents’ birthdays are within a couple of days of each other and my uncle’s birthday was also last week!

my mother and i don’t really get along well. but there are times when she can be understanding. i wish i had the great relationship others have with their mother but i just don’t think that’s going to happen between us.

anyway today is her birthday and that’s a good thing because without her i’d not be here