so when i last wrote, i was waiting on a phone call from *big retail store*. well that phone call has still not come but i am crossing fingers and hoping that it will soon. the situation here is not good money-wise and our home is literally falling to pieces. we cannot fix anything, or really clean anything, because we cannot buy anything to do so. our vacuum does not work, we don’t have money for garbage bags or cleaning products… its just getting ridiculous. i am at my wits end trying to figure out what the hell to do.

i’m really not sure how much longer we will have the internet. my brother is doing temp work at factories and he isn’t getting much work from that. my sis in law is a waitress so she doesn’t make that much money. my only job at the moment is writing paid blogs and tweets, and those who do that know that’s not very stable either… and if the internet goes poof, then there goes my only way to make cash.

i’ve had this donate button on the sidebar since may… not one person has graced it with even a dollar. i know, i shouldn’t expect much, because i am not “known” to people, but i kinda feel like crap about that. i wish i could find people here in the real world, off of the internet, who could help us fix our home, give us a vacuum or something that would assist us in not living in the mess we are in now. the lady next door told us months ago that she would speak to someone who could arrange a benefit for us to raise money for stuff, but here it is almost september and she has said nothing about it.

i want a job… i am so sick of waiting on these phone calls and the rejection… it should not be this hard to find a job.

today was a pretty crappy day… we had a meeting with the county clerk’s office to settle mom’s estate. speed bump 1, it cost 42 bucks to put the land in our names… like we aren’t already shelling out a ton of money for everything already. then the woman dropped the bomb. all the money that was in mom’s bank account (about $600+) had to be given directly to the funeral home because the funeral expenses were  not already paid off. that was money we were hoping to pay bills with… it didn’t matter that we had arrangements with the funeral home to pay off mom’s funeral cost in installments, no they just took all that money and said sorry about that!

the fact that the woman actually said “good luck” to us as we were walking out the door.. i honestly had to stop myself from spitting on her or punching her… its so easy for people to just dismiss this stuff or say “good luck” when they aren’t experiencing it first hand. not knowing if you are going to have money for basic utilities and needs, like toilet paper for instance… its really just depressing and i am tired of living this way.

there’s absolutely nothing that can be done as well… no government programs that help people who are just poor… we aren’t disabled, there’s no underage children to take care of… we just don’t have any money. its like unless we get hurt really badly or one of us gets pregnant, we just have to deal with possibly being homeless.

why does the system work like this??? i don’t get it…

i know a lot of people who live in the city and they are always talking about how lucky i am because i live in the country and can have peace and quite… well i’ll just say, there is no such thing as peace and quiet. case in point, i was awoken to gunshots this morning. no not someone shooting someone, but some stupid person next door shooting a gun over and over and over again. not just bang bang they’re done. but several times over and over, rapid fire. i honestly cannot find the fun in this sort of thing… yes ok you are proud you have a gun.. or ok you are a gun collector and enjoy shooting things. but ffs, go to a shooting range. standing in your yard shooting a gun at nothing for 2 or 3 hours is ridiculous and so fucking annoying to those of us who don’t wake up at 9am on the dot.

to top it off, the gunfire always starts up a chain of dogs barking all around us. the closest of these dogs is not far from my bedroom window and it has the most annoying bark i have ever heard come out of a dog ever… after all the dogs are started up, someone almost always goes up and down the road and around the back pond several times on their 4-wheeler making sure to kick up even more noise pollution.

so no, its not peaceful here… its definitely not quiet. don’t envy living in the country, at least in the city you can get to places without driving half an hour.

it has come to my attention that you are the deciding factor on whether or not we get a ghostbusters 3. ok i know its been a long time since the last movie, however after playing the videogame for a while i am once more completely head over heels in love with the ghostbusters series.

i beg of you oh great bill murray, please approve the script that was sent to you and please give us another round of peter venkman to equally love and hate. the world needs more ghostbusters, seriously, and there is no team without you!

ok i know i’m being lame but UGH i want more ghostbusters… imdb says he’s cast already however other sites that i’ve been shown say he’s still deciding. i think my nerd is showing but seriously.. how can you even think of turning down ghostbusters???

i’m so excited right now! my package is only a few hours from reaching me according to the newegg tracker, which is why i am up at an insanely early time at the moment! not much to write about right now but i’m sure i’ll edit this post later when its arrived

well here’s the edit. even though i bought everything at the same time, and paid for overnight shipping.. i received my computer parts BUT NO CASE!!! needless to say, i am livid right now… i called new egg and got credit back on the case’s shipping, so i pretty much got half of what i paid for overnight shipping.

the most retarded part? the case was in the TN warehouse which is only a few hours away.. the parts were in CALIFORNIA. THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MAP.. and i managed to get them but not the case? i just can’t figure out how that is even possible.

so anyway, case tomorrow and then the assembly will begin.. and i swear to god if anything is DOA i am going to eat someone’s face.

you know i really hate courtney love. i did back when kurt was still alive, and i do now.. but now i hate her for the simple fact that she is a loser, who has control of the legacy of one of the most remarkable men in music, and she is an idiot with it.

the new guitar hero 5 came out recently and apparently the digital likeness of kurt appears in it at some point along with a couple of songs you can play by nirvana. ok.. to me that’s eh… kinda not cool. but i’ve not see the avatar so i’m not sure what it looks like.. it seems that its causing quite a stir up with the guys from nirvana as well as courtney.

“Cobain’s widow, Courtney Love, had been lashing out on Twitter this week about her late husband’s inclusion in the game, calling it vile and claiming she would sue Activision, the game’s publisher. Love claimed she never approved Cobain’s digital likeness, and that she thought the grunge rocker would despise the rhythm game "let alone this avatar."”

yeah ok… so courtney is pissed about something, i’m amazed, really, she’s a money grubbing twat, and this sounds like something she was be glad about since she would get a cut of the money for its usage.

but i guess this is just another case of drunken, drugged out stupidity by miss love because oops…

“Activision said in a statement Thursday that they secured the necessary licensing rights from the Cobain estate in a written agreement signed by Love to use the singer’s likeness as a fully playable character in "Guitar Hero 5," which includes "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and "Lithium" among its 85 tracks that can be played with instrument-shaped controllers.”

oh hey look at that! YOU SIGNED THE GOD DAMN PAPERS YOU STUPID JUNKIE!

god i hate her.. LOATHE HER… ugh… sorry i needed to rant. i wish she would have shot herself instead of shooting kurt…

so thursday sucked giant goat ass.

my mother decided it was time to renew my ID. now.. my ID is VERY VERY VERY expired… like.. i should have renewed it in 2004.. yeah.. that’s bad.

so we decided to travel the 30 minutes up the mountain to get that taken care of… it was a rainy day and the fog was really bad, but we made it up there in one piece. once at the dmv, we walked up to the window, there wasn’t any waiting time, no crowd, yay right? NOPE.

first the woman tells me i don’t have enough identification, and hands me a paper with things i can use to identify myself. of course i don’t have any of these things because i have no bank account, no passport, no drivers license, i don’t pay bills at my parents house.. pretty much nothing on the list… except school transcript.

so we drive another 15 minutes to my high school *shudder*, and go visit the guidance counselor who still remembers me from the time i had a breakdown and had to be dragged clawing and screaming away from the girl my boyfriend at the time cheated on me with. fun times…

so there i sat while he got my transcript, which looks awful btw because my stress levels in high school were so bad i just blanked most of it out… we go back to the damn dmv, and the woman tells me that the item i brought for my proof of residence is not acceptable.. ITS MY FUCKING STATE TAX FORMS.. and yet its not good enough. so she gives me another list of shit i can bring in to state that i do in fact live where i live… and of course i don’t have anything with my most recent address on it because i don’t get any bills and i don’t have a job at the moment. supposedly the change of address conformation form i got when i switched addresses will work, so we’re going to bring that to them tomorrow when i have to go back up there for other stuff.

UGH! and they wonder why i’m running around with an expired id?!?! this is why!

so we drive all the way back home in fog thick as silent hill fog. and come home to find out that the pharmacy with dad’s meds can’t get medicaid to work.. dad NEEDS HIS MEDS… and so they went though hell with that. i have no idea if they got that figured out because i passed the fuck out with a nap.

when i came to/woke up/arose from the dead, i was given the news that time warner cable has decided to cap internet bandwith usage for some areas, and that includes mine. its rediculous! their “tiers” go from 5gb to 40gb a month for horrible prices and i would probably eat though 40gb in a couple of days since i game online, watch movies online, spend huge ammounts of time with lucas on voice chat, stream music, and lets not forget the almighty bandwith hog that is second life! of course that’s just me, and i’m not the only person in this house using the internet.

mother says if they cap it we will get rid of TWC, which is all good except there are no other broadband providers in our area… which means i would lose my connection to lucas, and the things that make me happy in life.

after sobbing for a while on skype to lucas, we snuggled and called it a night early because i have to get up in the morning at 9am.. please note that it is about 4:30am as i write this and i cannot sleep to save my life.

i hope i wake up from this nightmare soon…

why the hell do american movie makers still insist on taking already awesome things to turn into crap ass movies?!?! will they never learn??? did XMEN MEAN NOTHING TO YOU FUCKERS!?

seriously, i’m tired of it. LEAVE MY ANIME ALONE! you’ve already ruined several comic books with this crap you do not need to start ruining perfectly good anime as well. its bad enough we port over japanese horror movies and then ruin them to “better fit american audiences” which really means “we took out all the really good stuff and replaced it with bad sex and more gore” and i like gore, but dammit.. japanese horror is amazing because it makes you go “‘uh.. whut?” and every time they try to convert that to an american film it blows ass chunks.

the article does say that there are people involved in the original cartoon involved with this movie so maybe it has hope but i seriously doubt it :/

this rant was brought to you today by me not having anything coherent to blog about.

someone somewhere has marked my comments on their blog as spam using akismet, which means that now, akismet thinks i am comment spam and sends my comments to the spam queue. so if you are from despair and you havne’t recieved comments from me, please check your queue to see if i ended up there…

does anyone know how i can go about fixing this? it’s really crap to be marked as spam when you’re definitely not! not to mention on my own blog when i reply to someone’s comments my comment gets sent to my own spam queue!

ok now that i’m done complaining i figure i’ll give a little update on the WoW adventures with lucas. we’re at level 27 now! going pretty quick since we’re constantly in a group… not to mention this server is a little more high rate than the regular WoW so we get more experience per quest and stuff like that. its been fun so far. i’ve never really played enough of the blood elf side to see what it’s like but so far we’ve done some really cool quests and i love the scourge areas… so pretty!

being dragged off to do more of that! *poofs*

so this post is ranty, and i want to start out by explaining first off, i have problems with ocd (obsessive compulsive disorder). i have routine ocd, which means i go to work, eat, and sleep, at the same times every night with little or no variation ever. it also means that if the routine is thrown out of wack for some reason, i get nervous, break down, cry, or have a panic attack if it’s bad enough. i also have mild problems with organization and i tend to have to have everything in an order that only i can understand.

now, that being said, lets get to the immaturity.

the people in my area of the call center have a deal with me that if they are sitting in my seat when i come in, they will move to another seat so that i can have my cubicle. however, we do have a hotseating policy, which means that we pretty much just sit where we can find a seat. but like i said, my group has a deal, and we co-exist fine.

there are these women who i guess don’t know that, and when they saw a guy get out of my chair, they started to harass me. calling me a baby, telling me i wasn’t special, that i was spoiled and that i needed to learn the rules and didn’t i know what hot seating was, etc.

so i explained to them, that i have ocd, and that we have a deal in this area. i was very calm but they became more angry at that, and continued to bombard me with insults.

i took the problem to a team lead (floor manager) and she said she would sort things out. so i went to work, she spoke to them, and i thought it was taken care of.

the next day i come in to work, sit at my desk and note immediately that they have rearranged every paper on my desk, moved my phone, hidden some items under my desk and just caused general disaray. they then laughed at me while i reorganized my desk.

again i spoke to a team lead, and assumed it was taken care of.

saturday everything was fine, i had no problems and nothing was messed with. i figured the problem was taken care of.

today i come to work, and one of the women is sitting at my desk, she has removed my papers from the cubicle wall, and replaced them with her own, she had no reason to sit at my desk, as she comes in very early during the morning hours and has first pick of any desk she wants, so she sat there deliberately.

i spoke to upper management this time, and the HR department. they took all 3 of the women into their office and spoke to them with both the boss and the manager below him. team leads were alerted and the situation was finally resolved (or so i hope.)

i am so disgusted at these women. this is something you do in highschool, elementary school, not a workplace. and not when you are 40 and 50+ years old! yes that’s right these women were old enough to be my mother! and here they were harassing me, and over what? a cubicle, and my mental disabilities.

picking on someone with ocd is just as bad as kicking a wheel chair out from under a paralyzed person. they can’t help that their legs are not functioning, and i can’t help that my brain causes me to panic when things aren’t in order.

anyway, i hope this is all resolved, and that tomorrow i don’t have more bullshit to deal with. i’m about at the end of my rope here.